Devastated by a loss

Of all things to break me, the World Junior Hockey final between the US and Canada completely broke my heart.

Not because I give a shit about the outcome, but today my granpa's biopsy report came back positive for all kinds of spreads of cancer, making it real to him and solidifying what the doctors have been telling me.

We sat there, talking about things that needed to be taken care of - funeral planning, will, his house, etc - when he looked at me and said, "If Canada loses tonight, I'll never see them win again."

At that moment, my heart broke.

Because we have a relationship based on hockey from as far back as I can remember. In fact, when I got my first job as a sports writer, I only wanted to write about the Edmonton Oilers so I could piss him off.

But this afternoon, with the biopsy report and the imminent Gold medal game between Canada and the US, it reignited my passion for hockey. Since leaving my career, I can't watch it because it pissed me off to see people who were less talented than me get jobs with major media outlets.

So, over the years, my passion has died.

Until today. When all my granpa wanted to see was the Canadian team win the Gold Medal.

Until four minutes left in the game, it looked hopeless. But I tweeted and tweeted about this meaning so much to my granpa, and pretty soon people were re-tweeting it, cheering on Canada in hopes that he could witness a final gold medal in his lifetime.

When they tied up the game, I was ecstatic!! For me, it was hope!! I called him only to find out he was in the sunroom at the hospital ignoring the game. I told him Team Canada tied it up and he said, "Are you serious?"

"No," I replied, "I'm just calling to fuck with you. What do you think!!! Of COURSE I'm serious!!"

"Well, get off the phone," he said, "I've got to get back to my room!"

And with that, I replied, "I'll call you when Canada wins!!"

He laughed and said, "Sweet dreams, Stinker!"

And then the overtime happened and I'm devastated.

The dam that I have been building since I found out about my grandfather's cancer, broke. I had to get this off my chest.

I guess the only thing I can take comfort in, is that after he told me about never seeing Canada win was that he'd never have to look at the Edmonton Oilers again.

Well. In all of this bullshit, he's keeping a sense of humour. And so shall I.

No where's my gawddamn wine!?!

t.

PS Thanks to all my tweeps who have supported me throughout all of this. You know who you are. I am indebted to you.

10 things I love about Big Daddy

Our 10th wedding anniversary is coming up Jan. 13.

10 Years. Of sex with the same man. Wow. Whoda thunk!?

10 things I love about Big Daddy

Our 10th wedding anniversary is coming up Jan. 13.

10 Years. Of sex with the same man. Wow. Whodathunk!?

It was -26C when we got married but I always said it would be a cold day in hell if I ever walked down that path... so it was fitting!

Crazily enough, we won our wedding on the Big Breakfast, which is now lovingly referred to as Breakfast Television on the A-Channel. It was a crazy time but one that fitted perfectly with our relationship. We found out Christmas Eve morning that we won the wedding and we were married about three weeks later.

Seriously crazy.

And no, we weren't one of 10 couples to be married that day either. It was a huge thing - they followed us to pick out our wedding rings, the dress, the tuxes and even to our "stag & stagette."

It was three weeks of fabulousness!

So, in honour of our special day, I have decided to create a list of the things I love/hate about the big boy. We met Dec. 29, 1999 and were married the next year. In the 11 years that we have been together and the 10 years that we've been married, I've come to tolerate some of his quirks. The others, I cope with by drinking wine. Lots and lots of it! ;)

Dear Diary, Are you fuckin kidding me?

I made it through the holidays without too much drama, which is always nice, and actually had a chance to forget all of the things that are happening with my grandfather.

But, reality rears it's ugly face and I have been smacked upside the head with a shitload of it.

Happy Holidays... I'm fakin' it this year

I cannot seem to feel good about the holidays this year. It's sad because it truly is my favourite holiday but this year... I have little Christmas spirit.

This weekend, my granpa was told he has cancer. The found it on his liver and it isn't the main source of the cancer so that means it has spread. He's dying, plain and simple.

We all are dying, I know, but I feel like I've aged about 10 years in the last week. The weight of having to deal with a parent's imminent death is horrible.

He's my granpa, not my dad I know, but you see, we have each other and that's about it as far as family goes. I have always been close to my grandparents. Always. In fact, if it weren't for them, I would not have made it through an otherwise shitty childhood.

I don't talk to my mom and he isn't close with anyone else. He is my step-grandfather, it's complicated but he's been there since I was born so he's my granpa. Simple as that.

Anyway, because my "family" is so messed up, I have leaned on and counted on my grandparents for life lessons, strength and guidance. When my grandma died, I was only 19 years old. Her and I shared a studio bedroom apartment in Edmonton, before she died of lung cancer.

My grandfather was devastated when she died, obviously because she was the love of his life. It was then that we developed a ridiculously strong relationship based on our love and passion for hockey.

I know, right!? Weird. But we had always battled about our Oilers/Flames love/hate relationship. He's from Calgary and likes to bug me about the Oilers while I'm an Edmonton girl and love to rub it in his face about our 5 Stanley Cups. It's how we bond.

My granpa flew in from Kuwait to walk me down the aisle when I got married (did I mention he lived/worked there for 20 years? Yah, that's another blog).

When I got a job at a daily paper as a sports scribe, he flew home to make sure I was doing OK and let me know how proud he was of me.

When I had Oscar, he came home to meet him. Oz is named after Big Daddy's granpa but his middle name is my grandfather's.

I haven't seen my granpa as much as I should have in the past couple of years... life gets in the way. But I always think about him.

I was at the hospital this afternoon and the doctor told me I should find out what his "code status" is in case it's needed.

Do you know what a code status is? It's a DNR - Do Not Resuscitate. So you either are a thumbs up or a thumbs down.

How the hell do I approach that? I don't like asking these questions and I sure as shit don't want to talk about him dying. He's depressed enough.

So I said, "Granpa, I have to ask you a question."

"Ok, dear."

"Uhm, well, you know if you go flatline, do you want the doctors to try and save you?"

Fuck. Tactful as all hell, aren't I?

He just looked away and said, "Well at that point I won't care, now will I?"

Then he started talking about the Oilers. Because he's scared of dying, I'm sure. When I'm talking to him, I maintain a pretty calm, cool and witty composure because I don't want to stress him out.

But he started talking about his will and personal papers and things I just don't want to hear about. Ignorance is bliss, right? If I don't know then it's not real.

I had to leave. I couldn't sit there and discuss it with him. It's too painful.

So I left but he called me as I was driving home and asked me to bring him a notepad. That there were some things he wanted to get on paper.

So, here I sit. Blogging instead of getting in the truck and driving. I'm stalling because I just don't want to go back today.

I am truly struggling with how to put on a chipper facade for my kids over the next few days. I guess I just have to focus on the moment with them this Christmas and block everything else out.

Think I'll look up one of the Cocktail Deeva's recipes and fix me a pitcher of somethin' for when I get home. There's sure to be some holiday joy in there!! ;)

xoxo

t.

Love for the Twits

If you're on Twitter, you know all about the #ff or Follow Fridays. It's how you high-five your fellow twits and build your community of followers. I personally like to call them Twits because followers makes it sound like I'm some sort of cult leader ... plus I don't believe anyone should "follow" someone. Always be a leader!

Ahem. I digress.

Today, I have decided to steal the idea of @InspiredCoach of blogging my Top 5 Twits of the week. She mentioned me last week because I'm so damn awesome, and this week, I reciprocate to her because she friggin' ROCKS!! Add her to your Twitter community.

#5: @Optimom She gets it!! She preaches and teaches the value of putting yourself FIRST, above the kids, above the hubby, above everyone because you can't take care of anyone if you are struggling to take care of yourself. Personally, I think she stole this idea from me because, you know, that's how she rolls... she mischievous that way. And she says stuff like "Sweet Niblets!" when she really means "Ass Hat."

#4 @TassimoCanada If you love coffee,, you NEED to have this coffee brewing system. FYI MOM is giving one away next week so be sure to enter our contest!! I blog about coffee. I tweet about coffee. No one loves coffee more than I do, and finding this coffee system was like finding Big Daddy. Except I never thought my love affair with the Tassimo would be just a one-night thing, where as Big Daddy was suppose to be. 11 years later I figure Big Daddy might just be a permanent fixture. But I still have a love affair with my Tassimo. So there.

#3 @TBSonK97 The K-Rock morning show is raunchy. And according to the Terry, Bill and Steve show on K97, MOM is worse than they are. *blush* we're honoured that they would give us such a compliment. We love Terry, Bill & Steve. They make us laugh, they make us cringe and they make us feel pretty damn good about ourselves because we know we could never, ever be as badass as they are. HA! I wrote that with a straight face!!

#2 @SalesDiva For all you FIERCE women in business, you need to know Kim Duke. She will give you the tools you need to take your business to the next level. She's the sassy sales diva who gives you tips, points you in the direction of the experts, sends you newsletters full of useful information and gives you the kick in the ass you need!

#1 @BigDaddySaid well who else did you think would be #1 in my world?? Big Daddy is funny. And brilliant. And only smart people get his sense of humour. If you like to be entertained and engage in witty, intelligent banter, I highly recommend him. And if you prefer the opposite, feel free to follow me.

#thatisall

t.

Tasteless... or so we've been called

Yup, people luuuurve to bitch about us.

And this time it seems we've offended a Stony Plain pastor.

There was a message at our office to call him so he could tell me why he thinks the magazine is "in poor taste."

Promptly following that little gem was a message from the Spruce Grove Second Cup owner asking me not to leave magazines there anymore due to "complaints" from customers.

Coincidence? I think not.

At first, I just shook my head and brushed off the messages because I can't waste time addressing complaints that have no merit. People complain all the time about the magazine but unless it's constructive criticism, I tend to ignore it.

And then I thought about it and got pissed off.

What the hell, doode!? I thought religious people weren't suppose to judge... lest ye be judged and all that.

I really thought this was a pretty tame issue. Sure, we like to raise some eyebrows but we never intend to offend anyone with our content.

I almost decided to call him back but realized there would be nothing I could say to appease him or Second Cup. MOM is what it is - edgy, fun, brash and sassy. We dare to go where no "mommy magazine" has dared to go before.

Our content has been shocking people since we launched and there is really nothing that shocking about what's between our covers.

If your mind goes to the gutter, that's your issue, not ours.

If you get your thong in a knot because we swear, too damn bad, because I'm going to keep doing it.

If you can't take the heat then stay outta my motherlovin' kitchen!

Or feel free to keep pickin' us up so you can bitch about us.

Hey, at least I know you're reading it.

And don't worry, I know there's a special place for me and my badass attitude. It's right there along with the 1,000s of readers we have and an open bar.

Now go and be one with your self-righteousness.

Namaste.