Twitter Cliques and Other Social Media Faux Pas

Twitter is a useful little tool but let me tell you one of my absolute pet peeves when it comes to Social Media: I hate cliquey Twits.

I do. I despise them as much as I despise cliquey bitches in real life.

Let me explain.

Social Media is all about engaging, connecting and conversations. Sure, we all are pimpin' something and have to run a business so we are selling ourselves or a service BUT that doesn't mean you have to set yourself apart from the Twitterverse by ignoring questions, comments, complaints or other Tweets.

Yes, we have all dealt with the Trolls or seen the drama on Twitter but you can still choose to engage with the people who want to converse with you. It's easy to become friends with a small group of Twits or develop online relationships that are stronger with some people that others but it doesn't mean you should blatantly ignore your audience.

On the flip side of that, Twitter IS a live chat so you may not always see the tweets that come your way (unless you're like me and have your Blackberry glued to your hand) but that doesn't mean you can't monitor your twitter stream. And yes, I get that you may be bombarded with tweets but making an effort to converse  is a lot better than completely ignoring people.

Let me give you a couple of positive examples because I see no point in posting negative examples: 
I love Perez Hilton. I know, I know, he's not for everyone but I see beyond his online persona that he has created and admire the little empire he has established. Every once in a while, I'll tweet at him and ask a a celeb-related question not really expecting a response (the guy has 4,800,000 followers and he only follows 485 people) but one day, he replied to my tweet! It was the coolest moment of my day knowing that someone with THAT many followers saw my inconsequential tweet and took a moment to reply.

This one time at bandcamp... wait, wrong story. This one time, I was lamenting about that fact that the FIERCE Christmas party was the SAME night as director Kevin Smith and his bestie Jason Mewes were going to be in town, and GUESS WHAT!?

Jay responded to my tweets!

I just about died. I'm not even kidding. OK well died is the wrong word... cancelled my event is the phrase I was looking for. Anyway, the point is, he has 185,000 followers (but only follows 264 people, tsk tsk) but he STILL took a minute to respond to me. 

Are you the non-celeb Twit who has 15,867 followers but only follows 24 people?

That annoys me too. What makes you think your message is SO important that you are only here to talk and not listen? Is your message more important than someone else's message? Are you the Dalai Lama? Uhm. No. I'm guessing you're not.

This mentality reminds me of the movie Titanic, specifically Rose's pretentious mother who asked if the lifeboats would be seated according to class. Well excuuuuuuuuuuse me, Mrs. Dewitt Bukatur, but I won't  be taking my 3rd Class ass back to Steerage. In fact, you can kiss it. Snap, snap and OH SNAP!

I understand that celebrities have millions of followers and it would be nearly impossible to manage an account by following all of your fans BUT if you're not Lady Gaga or Oprah, chances are you don't have millions of followers.

I'm not saying follow every person who follows you because clearly that would be hypocritical on my part since I don't follow everyone who follows me however I do follow people who intrigue me or engage me in conversations.

It's SOCIAL media, people. SOCIALIZE. Mingle. Chat. Make small talk. Develop relationships. ENGAGE!

Ahem.

If you need me I'll be drinking coffee and awaiting your comments/tweets.

 
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Walking on Eggshells is for Chickens

I've never been a fan of biting my tongue but over the last few years I have learned that emotional rants or arguments are never as effective as I would like them to be so I am practicing the art of diplomacy.

Sort of.

Having a blog gives people the ability to type words on a forum that gives them a public voice but it also allows them to hide behind their computers spouting off negativity, and walking that fine line of being an online bully.

First rule of being FIERCE

Never say online about someone what you wouldn't say to their face

Now that is easier said than done for most people because they have a sense of security hiding behind anonymous blog comments, an online persona, or a Social Media handle.

Passive aggressive tweeting, blogging or other forms of childish behaviour should not be engaged. If you feel like you are being attacked in a non-confrontational way, keep the following things in mind:

• The online world doesn't actually revolve around you. This goes with any Tweets, Facebook status updates or blogs you may see, even if the Twit/FB Friend/blogger is someone you know personally. Sometimes... a post is just a post.
• If a Tweet/FB status/Blog triggers you and you assume that it is automatically about you, examine why it triggered you in the first place. Perhaps it is your own issue or guilty conscience that causes you to react or take it personally.
• Consider whether it's worth your time and energy. If you have the extra time and energy to spend worrying about whether or not someone is talking about you, try using that extra time and energy to engage in a positive activity.

Don't walk on eggshells,
dance on them!

Minding your Ps & Qs is dependent on your personality and what you hope to accomplish with your brand, business or life in general.

For me, pushing the boundaries and using "rules" as mere guidelines works because I have never enjoyed fitting in or living a cookie-cutter life. I swear as much in real life as I do online but it doesn't make me a less effective communicator or unrefined despite the standards of some people.

Danielle LaPorte once wrote, "you can say 'Fuck' with compassion in your heart."

I love that line because too often people are judged by others who don't live up to their standards. Well you know what? That's there issue, not yours.

If your personality is brash, bold, outrageous and inappropriate then embrace that. BE that person but use your powers for good, not evil.

If you are more reserved and polite, then embrace it. But again, use those powers for good, not evil.

There is no "right" personality combination there is only acceptance of WHO YOU ARE.

But never feel like you have to conform to meet someone else's idea of who you SHOULD be.

Just don't be a chicken.

Be brave. Be You. Be FIERCE!

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Dear Diary: I Don't Get Sex...

And the City, that is.

That movie. Carrie, Samantha, uhm... and the other two characters...

I'm not one of the millions of women who will be flocking to that flick this weekend because, quite frankly, I don't give a damn.

No, I haven't seen the TV show and yes, I'm judging it based on what I see in the commercials. But I'm also judging it based on all of the hype that I see on Twitter. The majority of women on Twitter have feverishly been shopping for outfits to wear to this movie, literally for MONTHS.

Why?

What is the fascination with this movie? Are women living vicariously through the characters??

I know the premise of the show revolves around fiercely independent women who are living in New York City. There are shoes (specifically Manolo Blahniks and Jimmy Choos), sex (Carrie ends up marrying her bootycall, Mr. Big) and honest discussions between girlfriends that you've probably had WITH your own girlfriends or, at the very least, wanted to.

You see, for me, this show was no 'eye-opener'. I've always been open and honest about sex; nothing was ever taboo for me. I was honest about having one-night stands, I enabled my friends to truly be themselves and do things they normally would never do because
'good girls' don't (insert anything taboo here) and I wasn't shocked at the words 'masturbation,' 'vibrators' or 'orgasms.'

I don't giggle at stuff like that because I've never been embarrassed about sex.

So you would think that I would like this show but the truth is, it sort of annoys me. That whole "rah rah I've got a hoo-haw" girl power shit grates on my nerves.

Women "lunching" just to gossip or dish on the latest divorce/orgasm/shopping experience they've had is not my cuppa coffee.

Sex and the City represents all things stereotypical about women

Each character, from what little research I have done, I admit, seems boxed (pun intented).

There's Samantha, the pervy, try-sexual, uninhibited friend who oozes SEX and enjoys it for what it is... just sex. She will educate and enlighten you on all things you want to know about sex but are too afraid to ask. Perpetually single, will she ever truly commit and find a "happily ever-after??"

There's Carrie. She shops, she's living the dream as a sex/relationship columnist in New York City and she drinks Cosmos. She's searching for the elusive Mr. Right whom she finds in the form of Mr. Big. They have sex, they break up. He gets married. They have sex. Marriage breaks up. They break up. They have sex. They get married. Stop the roller coaster, I'm gonna puke.


There's Charlotte. She's sweet, demure, classier than her friends by a LONG shot and she is the good girl our mother's all wanted us to be. Happily married, white picket fence, kids. Yup. One-dimensional.

And finally, Miranda. She's the tough-as-nails, jaded yet loyal friend who becomes a single mom. She balances it all because THAT'S WHO SHE IS. Independent. Strong. Ferocious! Who needs a man? She relies more on personality that sex appeal because, let's face it, she has none.

From what I'm seeing on Twitter, women are 60-40 in support of this movie.

shannondagnone says: It's appealing because it's fantasy. Fabulous clothes, gorgeous men. It's the life most of us will never live. Vicariousness!

ParentClub says: so not obsessed. Couldn't care less. Carrie who?!

sandyel says: because it's fun. It is one of my fave tv series. #SATC

RecycleNazi says: i dont know. i watched an episode here and there, and the movie, and just like the housewives of OC, liked it, possibly something to do with seeing snotty bitches talk about getting screwed over by men, or shitting their pants (yah, that happened in the movie, laughed my ass off) I think its like a stepping stone to normalcy for the really plastic bitches. for me, its sort of the opposite. I can pretend I am fancy.

And finally, one of my twitter BFFs whom I LOVE LOVE LOVE in spite of her kooky love for SATC, CocktailDeeva says: It's witty, well written, women can relate..FABULOUS Fashion, Hot Men & Killer Cocktails...

She also gives fantastic reasons why women LOVE this movie and are obsessed (check it out here)

So, even though I don't get it and probably never will, I'd like to share with you what I told another Twitter BFF CLBuchananPhoto last night (who saw the premier and loved it) ... Opinions are like assholes, and since I've got both and this is my blog, I can express mine.

Feel free to express yours in the comment section.

Cheers!