Friday, June 29, 2007

Dirty little monkey!

I'm trying to come up with something clever but everytime I write ANYTHING Lola tosses her bottle out of her crib and yells. It's 4:41 a.m. and Ron and Oz are sleeping.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Chris Benoit...the hero?

Am I the only wife/mom on the face of the universe who is PISSED off that Chris Benoit is being paid tribute to, despite having smothered his 7-year-old son and strangling his wife?

WWE Wrestler, Chris Benoit was found dead .... Poor Chris Benoit... what a tragedy.... such a humble man.... such a role model to all other wrestlers.... local, home grown hero.


I read that the WWE mourned the loss of "one of their family members" and Vince's eyes welled up with tears as he announced the death of Chris Benoit.

What about the little boy who died THREE DAYS before the coward decided to hang himself? Did he have to watch his mother die? Or was it the mom who had to watch her son die? Did they hide in fear? What about them?

I used to be a sportswriter so I have close ties to this story. Though I never met Benoit or have EVER endorsed the WWF as a "real sport" I recognize that many people enjoy this soap opera. Personally, I'm a HUGE fan of the Rock. He makes me laugh in the movies he has starred in, he played briefly for the Calgary Stampeders and as a an Eskimos fan I forgive him for this, and he is a charismatic guy who owes his success to the WWF. If he killed his wife and daughter (whom he affectionately nicknamed "Pebbles") I can't say I would mourn his passing.

Chris Benoit is - allegedly - a murderer. There is too much of this "Lacie Peterson" syndrome floating around.

Husbands who kill their families make me sick. Moms who kill their kids make me sick. Isn't it time we stopped excusing them and justifying their actions?

Chris Benoit is no legend. He deserves nothing more than a "see ya later, don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out" if anything.

All this media attention makes me mad. As a mom. As a wife. As a woman who can't stand the BS in society.

I could care less for the tragedy of Chris Benoit. What I care about is the wife's family and the grandparents who will never see that little boy grow up.


Thursday, June 14, 2007

Mommy Makeover

I'm in the middle of a makeover that started April 2006 and won't end until April 2008. It all started with getting my tubes tied (no more kids! YAY!) and has since led to braces, laser eye surgery and a breast reduction.

The braces sort of started the whole process of this mini-makeover. After avoiding the dentist for 14 years, I was forced to go because of a sore tooth. At that appointment, Dr. Kahls (KARO Dental) informed me that I had two baby teeth and they needed to be pulled. I was devastated, traumatized and literally went home and cried like a big baby. He only pulled the sore baby tooth at that appointment but my self-esteem took a serious blow.

For three months I walked around feeling like a toothless old hag. Usually I am a confident, somewhat vain person but not being able to smile with a full set of teeth caused me to feel self-conscious.

I sucked it up, though, and at the next appointment Dr. Kahls told me I needed braces to pull down the adult teeth.

I was certain this man hated me.

Why else would he make me endure such a terrible fate at my tender age of 31? Didn't he KNOW that I was past puberty? That it wasn't natural for a married woman with kids to wear braces??!! That my daughter and I would be teething at the same time?! Obviously he just wanted to drain my bank account, causing me to postpone pontential trip to Vegas.

I had options, though. I could have "forgotten" my scheduled appointments with Dr. Kahls and just carried on my merry way as a toothless mom.

But once again, vanity prevailed. Plus I really enjoyed his assistants Heather and Laureen. They made me feel comfortable and eased all of my anxiety about braces.

I won't go into detail about the PAIN of having my adult teeth uncovered or how my entire face throbbed when I had to get my wisdom teeth pulled or how much it SUCKED that I couldn't eat steak for almost six months.

None of that matters now. I have embraced my braces. I get the funky coloured elastics and try to accessorize with my wardrobe.

But let me tell you, after I got the braces, the glasses had to go! I actually enjoyed wearing my glasses and thought they added a "sexy librarian" facade but braces, glasses, pimples during PMS and preganacy weight? C'MON!

Hence the laser eye surgery last August. And the breast reduction? Well kids literally suck the life out of you, as many moms will attest to, and my once-fabulous boobs were now not so fabulous. So a reduction and - BONUS - a lift gave me some of that confidence back!

I've got about 9 or 10 months left with the braces and about 40 pounds to shed before I get back to pre-baby weight... ah, who am I kididng? Lola is 19 months old... I have just enjoyed one too many bottles of wine and not spent enough hours at the gym.

HOWEVER, now that I know the end is near for the braces, I must attempt the final leg of this makeover.

Who's with me?! Let's form a local support group for moms who want to shed some pounds, whether it's 100 or 10!


PS don't forget to get your tickets for the pre-launch party - $10 in advance at Dragon Lilies, $15 at the door!!

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Am I the only mom who goes through this?

My little devil Lola, who just turned 19 months, is trouble with a capital T. She is a stubborn, demanding, fussy little mini-me.

We were at Wal-Mart (pick a day, any day) and since she discovered the joys of walking at 17 months she has refused to sit in a cart. She squirms and yells and flails until I give in and let her have her freedom.

This makes shopping fun.

NO. It doesn't! It is frustrating having to run after her because she thinks it's "funny" to have me chase her throughout the aisles pushing my cart with one hand, tossing in random items because I don't have time to look at them.

It was cute the first couple of times, I admit it. She's adorable with her pigtails and big green eyes and mischievious giggle but I no longer go into Wal-Mart to shop - I go in on a mission!

Heading straight for the milk, we then make a mad dash for a loaf of bread. If I'm lucky, I get to choose which bag of chips we snack on... if not, it's whatever is within reach as I chase her towards the cashier. Once I catch her, I hold her like a wiggly football and toss my items on the belt while listening to her yell and whine.

Other moms usually look at me with an empathetic "Been there" look but once in a while I get a glare from another person as if I'm purposely torturing my child. Yes, I enjoy listening to her scream and I find malicious ways to do it, ESPECIALLY in public. Pinching her chubby little butt is one of my favourite ways to get her to yell.

C'mon! I would never torture my child in public... too many witnesses! Plus it's so 1990s.

Once we head to the truck with our 60 items instead of just the milk and bread, Lil' Miss Sunshine smiles and sits pretty in her carseat.

Ahh, the mood swings have started already. Good thing the Liquor Barn is within spitting distance!! :}