Dear Diary: What if?

My email has been down for the last week, effectively chopping off my arms of communication to the outside world. I live, you see, for the internet connection my BB, Kumar (named after the raunchy and inappropriate character from Harold & Kumar movies) gives me. I go to the bathroom with Kumar, I have coffee with Kumar and I sleep with Kumar. I'm not even joking, I hold him until we both fall asleep (it makes it easier to horizontal tweet at 2 a.m. Don't judge!) So when I wasn't getting any emails on Kumar, I got the shakes. So bad, that I dropped him and then swore at him. #BBparentfail

Being violently disconnected from the internet seems like the universe's way of telling me I may just rely a little too much on my beloved Kumar. But, I don't care.

Before I adopted Kumar, I was literally stuck to my damn computer, anxiously awaiting emails, FB updates and more recently Twitter @ replies.

So it got me thinking... what if Kumar could no longer do ANY of those things and even WORSE what if my crappy satellite internet was disabled. (It's happened, don't laugh...).

Well, if I knew prior to this catastrophic event, I might drink myself into a catastrophic oblivion. Or something like that.

But if I had one last chance to post a tweet, a blog or a FB update it might go something like this...

Heh hem.

Dear Diary,
Power outages can suck it. If you haven't heard from me by tomorrow, I want you to send help in the form of Scotch, Tequila or Wine.

That is all.

t.
PS Always remember that Life as a MOM doesn't mean life as a WOMAN has to end!

**note this post is in reference to a contest to Mable's Labels for my chance to win a trip to Blogher '10. Go Team MOM!!!