A lot.
I know, I know, you're falling off your chair in shock at that little revelation but if there is one thing I am, it's self-aware.
I can list all of my characteristics, good and bad, and am always working to make those so-called "bad traits" better.
In no particular order, the bad:
- I swear (even around my kids, I don't censor myself. Much).
- I'm stubborn (not as bad as I was when I was 20 but if I believe STRONGLY in something I will fight you to the death to prove my point)
- There is no such thing as half-assin' it (I am extreme in every thing I do. Work, play, everything. I go balls-to-the-wall or I don't go at all).
- If I'm indifferent to you it means I don't care at all about you either to love you or hate you and THAT is the worst emotion you can evoke from me
- I will drop the gloves and throw down if I feel I've been wronged or if someone I care about has been hurt.
- I will be inappropriate at the most inappropriate times. Yes, yes I will tell dirty jokes around my mother in law and I will say comments just to make you blush (and hopefully laugh).
- I am feisty, playful and love life. It's sometimes triggers people who are less likely to have that quality and who take life seriously. But you know what? I don't care. Life is too short to take it so seriously. There is enough serious shit in this world to stress out about and if I can BE happy than I WILL be happy.
- I am fiercely loyal to the people I love. If I love you, I will tell you. On the flip side if I hate you, you will know it too.
- "Don't talk to me about rules, dear. Wherever I stay I make the goddamn rules" Maria Callas Exactly. I look at things differently than most people and it took me a LONG time to see that I don't have to act the way people think I should act or talk the way other people deem appropriate. I make no apologies for who I am because I AM living up to my authentic standards.
- Compassion is second-nature to me believe it or not. I am very empathetic but I don't coddle those who play the victim card.
Over the past 2 years I've been practicing a lot of meditation and more recently been following the Seven Spiritual Laws of Success which have REALLY helped me let go of a lot of anger and rage issues I have had (I know, another shocking revelation, I'm sure).
Today is Wednesday and it's the The Law of Least Effort: Accept people, situations, and events as they occur. Take responsibility for your situation and for all events seen as problems. Relinquish the need to defend your point of view.
Do you know how hard that is? Seriously. I'm a bit of a control freak ... yes I get it, you're shocked at my honesty... so relinquishing the need to defend my point of view or myself is a tough one.
I have learned to embrace all of my traits because they make me who I am. Do I have to be the mom who swears all the time? No I don't HAVE to be anything I don't want to be. But do I apologize for swearing?
Fuck no.
I'm self-aware enough to know it's just another facet of my charming personality so love me or hate me, I'm not changing who my authentic self for anyone.
I happen to like me.
Cheers!
t.
PS. How self-aware are YOU!?
"Relinquish the need to defend your point of view." Oh. My. Sweet. Mother-loving. Zeus. Am I ever having trouble with this one lately. I need someone to understand where I'm coming from and frankly, I'm starting to scare the poor bugger. Oh, and I'm coming off as a desperate stalker now. Awesome. Letting go is a BIG deal for me. I'm having a very. Very. Very. Hard time with this one.
ReplyDeleteLOL yeh I hear you Jackie! Try the Law of Detachment now THAT is one helluva hard one too. Practice these, seriously, it's ridiculously helpful!
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