Wednesday, August 15, 2012

FIERCE & Famous: Helen Gurley Brown



Back in the day when I was an actual journalist, I had this idea that writing about sex would be the ultimate job.

I was inspired by Anka Radokovich, and even more so by former Cosmo editor, Helen Gurley Brown, who inspired a generation of women to have GREAT sex on their terms. 

I wanted to BE Anka and BE Helen. These women were FIERCE! 

Even though Helen lived to a ripe old age of 90, her passing on Aug. 13, 2012, caused me to reflect and see how far women have come (hahah yep, pun intended) in regards to being comfortable when it comes (bahahahaah) to talking about sex.

Sex, fucking, making love; it's all supposed to be something we can enjoy without the guilt yet so many women still have problems talking about it or, worse, even laughing about it.

I'm 37 so I've got a few years experience when it comes (HA!) to sex. I like to talk about it, make inappropriate comments in regards to it, and especially turn the most innocent comments on Twitter into a sexual innuendo.

Why?

Because (mostly) it makes people laugh. Those who are offended usually have sexual hang up *cough* in my humble opinion.

Everyone has sex. EVERYONE. And everyone masturbates or gets off in one way or another so as long as you're not hurting anyone (unless you're into that), or involving kids or animals (so not acceptable by any standards), then sex SHOULD be something that is enjoyed by all.

What I was 18 and just discovering sex (yes, shocker, I was a virgin until 3 months before my 18th birthday), having Helen say that it was OK for single women to enjoy sex, made my lack of inhibitions feel normal. I never felt like a slut because I didn't wait for a relationship to enjoy sex. I never cared about what other girls thought about me or said about me. I did what I wanted on my terms and enjoyed my single life (thanks Cosmo!).

When I applied to college, my entrance essay was on the taboos of single women having sex and the stigma attached to one-night stands, something I could never understand considering the same labels being applied to women were not stamped on men.

My argument was that in the 1700s, women were burned at the stakes if they appeared to enjoy sex. They were labelled "witches" because clearly women who orgasmed had to have some magical powers. 

I got into college based on that essay (and my sparkling personality) and seriously considered switching my career path from sports writing to being a sexpert of some sort.

I even had an idea for a book based on me and my friends but I never wrote it. A few years later when I was working at a daily paper as a sports scribe, Sex and the City became popular. To this day, I can't see that goddamn show without kicking myself.

Without women like Helen, I often wonder how much longer it would have taken to get to where we are. We've come (BAHAHAHA!) so far since the sexual revolution but we still have a ways to go when it comes to acceptance and removing taboos.

And I'm not talking about 50 Shades of Grey, either. There is far better erotica out there, ladies. All you have to do is google it.

Thanks Helen. Thank you for getting us this far. Rest in peace you naughty girl!


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