Dear Santa,
I have been a bad girl this year. I haven’t been able to get out to see all of our
advertisers this year so if you could do me a HUGE favour and bring them something extra special, I would be forever in your debt.

Thanks in advance!

Tamara Plant
Publisher, MOM Magazine

Dear Tamara,
You’re right, you have been a bad girl! But I see here the biggest reason you’re on the naughty list is that you have failed to do any laundry, make supper or clean your house. Shame on you. So, my answer to your request to thank your advertisers is a big no!! Get your act together before my big night or all of the advertisers will get a big lump of coal with your name on it!

Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Santa

Hey you fat bastard!
I already know that I have been slacking off around my house and I do NOT need you to point it out. If you can’t do this one damn favour then screw you!

T.
PS I thought fat people were suppose to be jolly!

Hey! You’re one to talk, chubby! Big Daddy and I have been communicating so I know all of your dirty little secrets... do you really want to start this battle? Apologize or that lump of coal goes to every one of your advertisers!!

S.

OMG I am SO sorry!!! You’re right. Especially if you know about that time I... um, well, you know! So... yah. Um. This is awkward. I’m sorry. Can you ever forgive me? I really need to do something special for our advertisers because without them, there is no MOM magazine!!! Please reconsider. I promise to be better next year. P.S. Big Daddy is one to talk...

That’s more like it. I will try to let your advertisers know how much you appreciate them. p.s. Big Daddy deserves a raise. He’s funny!