Devastated by a loss

Of all things to break me, the World Junior Hockey final between the US and Canada completely broke my heart.

Not because I give a shit about the outcome, but today my granpa's biopsy report came back positive for all kinds of spreads of cancer, making it real to him and solidifying what the doctors have been telling me.

We sat there, talking about things that needed to be taken care of - funeral planning, will, his house, etc - when he looked at me and said, "If Canada loses tonight, I'll never see them win again."

At that moment, my heart broke.

Because we have a relationship based on hockey from as far back as I can remember. In fact, when I got my first job as a sports writer, I only wanted to write about the Edmonton Oilers so I could piss him off.

But this afternoon, with the biopsy report and the imminent Gold medal game between Canada and the US, it reignited my passion for hockey. Since leaving my career, I can't watch it because it pissed me off to see people who were less talented than me get jobs with major media outlets.

So, over the years, my passion has died.

Until today. When all my granpa wanted to see was the Canadian team win the Gold Medal.

Until four minutes left in the game, it looked hopeless. But I tweeted and tweeted about this meaning so much to my granpa, and pretty soon people were re-tweeting it, cheering on Canada in hopes that he could witness a final gold medal in his lifetime.

When they tied up the game, I was ecstatic!! For me, it was hope!! I called him only to find out he was in the sunroom at the hospital ignoring the game. I told him Team Canada tied it up and he said, "Are you serious?"

"No," I replied, "I'm just calling to fuck with you. What do you think!!! Of COURSE I'm serious!!"

"Well, get off the phone," he said, "I've got to get back to my room!"

And with that, I replied, "I'll call you when Canada wins!!"

He laughed and said, "Sweet dreams, Stinker!"

And then the overtime happened and I'm devastated.

The dam that I have been building since I found out about my grandfather's cancer, broke. I had to get this off my chest.

I guess the only thing I can take comfort in, is that after he told me about never seeing Canada win was that he'd never have to look at the Edmonton Oilers again.

Well. In all of this bullshit, he's keeping a sense of humour. And so shall I.

No where's my gawddamn wine!?!

t.

PS Thanks to all my tweeps who have supported me throughout all of this. You know who you are. I am indebted to you.