Thursday, November 1, 2012

A "Be FIERCE" Challenge

Photo from SPLASH, Chicago's dose of STYLE, SOCIETY & CELEBRITY

It's been a week of really toxic energy in the air, have you noticed it? Lots of negativity, lack of patience, tolerance and all-around crap?

I blame the full moon that just passed, it tends to screw with people who are sensitive to those types of energies however now that it feels like this weight of hate, anger and drama has been lifted, I feel like it's time to push forward with being FIERCE.

Of course, during those times when it's so fucking negative is the BEST  time to practice being FIERCE, and quite honestly my daily FIERCE affirmations is the only thing that kept me from losing my shit online.

Today I came across a perfectly-timed article from the extremely articulate and insightful Jenny McCarthy, who you may know as one of Playboy's most successful Centrefolds. Yup, she bared it all and owns her liberation and empowered views on sexuality BUT I have watched her grow from sexy centrefold to inspirational mama over the years. Regardless of what you think of her or her past, this woman is uber-FIERCE!

In 20 years in the public eye, I have grown some pretty thick skin. Not much can penetrate anymore — but it used to. I would read comments and get sick to my stomach. I would be scared for my life because of the threats I would get. So I decided to do some spiritual soul searching to learn how to deal with a negative vortex that I know will never stop, and funnily enough, the search led to my own spiritual evolution. 
I learned about something called “projected identification.” This is the medical term that shrinks use to explain why people say mean things. According to this theory, when you feel bad about yourself and you don’t know what to do with it, you project it on to other people so you’re able to see it. I’m sure you’ve heard some guru say, “Everyone in your life is your mirror.” This is one of the best laws of the universe. When you say something negative, you are talking about yourself. When you say something positive, you are talking about yourself. Whatever emotions you’re experiencing in your own life, that’s exactly how you view the world. Love yourself and you love what you see. Hate yourself and you hate what you see.
I love this!

I love it so much that I am issuing a challenge to everyone who has ever thought a mean thing about someone, judged them, spewed hateful venom attacks on someone's personality or the way they live their lives, or just thought a snarky thought about someone.

We have all done it. We have ALL said things about someone else to our friends, gossiped, been hateful, judged, and chosen to see the worst in people.

Today, I want you to look at someone you really despise and find SOMETHING GOOD to say about them. Do it online. Do it only in your head. Just DO IT.

**Or, for those of you who are concerned about getting a compliment today** Find someone you don't even know and look for something nice to say about them. Look to someone you admire, say something POSITIVE.

The challenge is to see the best in someone you don't really like. 

You don't have to keep these people in your life but let's just start seeing something positive about them instead of projecting all of this hatred.

All of this catty, malicious bullshit stops now. It's a reflection on you and you need to change your mindset. Be genuine about it, too. None of that pandering, condescending bullshit either. 

It's not going to be easy but it will be good for you.

If you don't want to name people specifically, and you don't have to at all because the LAST thing I want is more drama, post something anonymous on my blog like, "She has a beautiful smile," or "Her passion is admirable."

See in someone else what you see about yourself. It's all a reflection.

Are you FIERCE enough to do this?

Return to You Are FIERCE



  2. I like this challenge! I too have thought mean things of people, been angry to the point my thoughts have been poison. I think it is of great value to look at the triggers inside, as in doing so it stops us from bringing them to the surface and possibly hurting others with our actions and words. It evokes the stop, think, and plan action. Or, on a deeper level it evokes the challenge to reflect and then simply let go. Which is such a beautiful thing to be able to do, as it allows nothing but love and joy in.

    There is a link above me I can see to Zitas post. I am not sure how this particular blog of yours Tamara has suggested a group be silenced? Am I missing something? I also don't see mentioned in your post any personal slights or attacks? I am unclear why this blog post of yours is under scrutiny when it is simply sharing a belief system held by so many Globally?

    Brittany, I do not know you, and I understand the word bullying perhaps is one you may not like used based on the link posted...however, posting a link to someone else's blog is like watching the person be physically bullied in public, then jumping in to increase the beating, instead of stopping it and ensuring no one gets hurt further.

    For anyone else reading this, and I know many people will read this, while I do not feel I have to defend this response to anyone I simply know you will judge what I have written as Tamara's friend.

    Let me be very clear. I do not always agree with Tamara, her words or her tactics. I make my own decisions. I love people for who they are, and that being said I also do not stand for passive aggressive, hurtful, and malicious behaviors. To ANYONE. Friend or foe.

    Let us take a page out of Ellen's book and be kind to one another.

    Have a beautiful day!

  3. Karissa,

    Brittany has already posted her own blog on the topic and Tamara's actions. She isn't piling on but merely referencing someone else making her point.

    Tamara didn't suggest silencing a group. She actually did it. Her personal attack is:

    "All of this catty, malicious bullshit stops now. It's a reflection on you and you need to change your mindset. Be genuine about it, too. None of that pandering, condescending bullshit either.

    It's not going to be easy but it will be good for you."

    She's calling a group of people "toxic" "catty" "malicious" etc. for not sharing her opinion. The hypocrisy is that she's doing exactly what she wants other people not to do.

    If she is right, and how you see others is just a "mirror" then Tamara is the one that is "toxic" "catty" and "malicious" but she's taking it out on other people.