Christmas time... is near!

Holy jingle bells, batman!

It was pointed out to me by a fellow twit that this time next month, Christmas will have come and gone.

WTF?! I'm SO not ready this year!!! I missed the Festival of Trees (except for Lola's school performance), my tree isn't up and there are still pumpkins sitting in my kitchen.

To top it off, I'm leaving for Ottawa on Monday to shoot our next cover...shhhh...it's top secret so don't tell anyone. But in order to take that trip, I've got a to-do list a mile long and a laundry pile as big as the Rockies.

It's really tough to get into the spirit this year, don't you think? There's no real snow! I'm bar-b-queing our suppers almost every night because my gawddamn oven is broken and I feel too overwhelmed with everything else that's going on to slow down and get into the season.

Maybe this trip to Ottawa will help? I'm excited to meet some of the fabulous women I've chatted with on Twitter (if you're not following me on Twitter, you should be because I'm friggin hilarious!) Anyway, I've met some really cool girls! @kellidaisy @CLBuchananPhoto @BPOrleans @YummyMummyClub @amotherworld @PartyMummy @SharonDV @CocktailDeeva @KathyBuckworth @optimom@CandaceDX ... there are so many and I'm sure I'm forgetting someone. Anyway, I'm going to meet with a few of them whilst in Ottawa so it should be good times!

It will still be all work, though. I'll keep you posted on why and what I'm doing.

As for my house, well... I'll wave my magic wand and it shall be done! For now, I'm listening to the Charlie Brown Christmas CD... always the perfect way to get into the spirit!!

Let me know how you're getting into the spirit of the season!

t.

Oscar's Lunch... no ketchup sandwiches here!

There is a reason I put a lot of effort into packing my kid's lunch for school.

Back in the day, my brother and I would would go to the neighbour's house for lunch. This neighbour was a very good friend of my mom's and quite nice, actually, but the only thing she made us for lunch was ketchup sandwiches. Now, I don't know if it was a money thing or because she didn't like us, but that's my memory of school lunches.

So, every morning since Oz has been going to school, I pack his lunch with fruit, a snack bag of veggies, a sandwich and a treat. I put a lot of love and thought into those lunches, and I don't expect any special awards for making them.

But he will never have to experience a ketchup sandwich and therefore doesn't appreciate how important it is to me that he have a decent lunch.

It's weird because I will never be "that mom" who sends cupcakes to school or volunteers for field trips (I don't like kids in general so groups of them causes me great stress and an additional prozac).

But this school lunch thing is where I shine as the Betty Crocker mom.

Which brings me to another piss-off - the Hot Lunch program.

How is having Hot Lunches from McDonalds or Wendys teaching kids about healthy eating and nutrition?

I'm not saying I never take the kids there, because I have enough McDs bags in my truck that would tell you otherwise, but I expect more from a hot lunch program in the schools. Granted, Spruce Grove and Stony Plain are fairly small so the options are limited but come ON!

OK, enough ranting for this morning, I've got real work to do and another coffee to drink.

Happy humpday!

t.

Just another day in the dungeon

I promised myself I would take the weekend off. I swore I would.

But I can't. I simply have lost the ability to relax away from work. I think I may have a problem.

You see, there was a time when I would schedule time for myself - gym, spa, tanning, whatever. As long as it meant time for me to improve my overall image and health. Over the last two and half years, I've lost the ability to do that.

I preach "self-care" to you in every issue but I have failed to take my own advice. I believe my extreme Scorpio personality has overtaken my desire to get off my ass and do something other than work.

And lately, I've seen pictures of myself and I cringe. I think, "Why are people taking pictures of my MOM!??" Because I look like her. Blech.

If I don't start doing things differently, I will never get control of myself. Scheduling a workout and STICKING TO IT may be my only saving grace. I won't give up wine or coffee, because those are my two favourite things to indulge in, plus I don't eat sweets or over-indulge in junk food. I've just become LAZY.

So, it's time to move my fat ass off of this office chair and take my life - and my health - seriously.

I look at the treadmill every damn day - it's in the dungeon, taunting me with it's incline. My excuse? Too much to do, too much to get done, too much planning to do, I'm not even wearing running shoes for Gawdsakes!

Well, NO MORE EXCUSES!!! In the mornings, I am going to get "dressed to the shoes" (a little tip I picked up from the Flylady).

I will go on the treadmill, whether I want to or not. I will sweat. I will huff and puff. But I WILL SUCCEED!!! I did it before and this time, it's for GOOD!!

NO MORE EXCUSES!!

I'm tired of being unwilling to have my picture taken or seeing myself in pictures and being ashamed.

So, MOM readers, I plan to make my 35th year on this earth the year I take my life back!!

Are you WITH ME!?!

As always, your Mad Publisher,
t.

I blame Maria aka @amotherworld for making me do this.

I realize that it's now Friday... where the heck did the week go? Since it’s TGIFF – Thank God it’s F*cking Friday and everyone is seriously slacking today, let’s have some fun!

1. Name someone with the same birthday as you. Funnies Garry Shandling and Howie Mandel.

2. Where was your first kiss? On a warm summer night in the middle of the street.

3. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else’s property? Does toilet-papering an old
boyfriend’s house count?

4. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex? A few shots to the head never hurt nobody.

5. Have you ever sung in front of a large number of people? Didn't you know? I am secretly a rock singer by night.

6. What’s the first thing you notice about your preferred sex? The eyes – the windows of the soul.

7. What really turns you off? People who are fake.

8. What do you order at Starbucks? Double Shot Non-Fat Lactaid Latte. Now say that three times.

9. What is your biggest mistake? I turned down certain opportunities.

10. Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose? I like to carve designs in my skin in my spare time. And I enjoy pulling out my hair on occasion.

11. Say something totally random about yourself. I’d love to go back to school.

12. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? Yeah, a few people have said I look like Maria Shriver which I wasn’t so thrilled about… does my chin look like hers? Seriously!

13. Do you still watch kiddie movies or TV shows? I absolutely adore the Backyardians. And the new guy on Wiggles.

14. Did you have braces? Nope but I probably should have!

15. Are you comfortable with your height? I’m happy being 5’7” but a couple more inches without heels would be cool.

16. What is the most romantic thing someone of the preferred sex has done for you? Romance? What's that? I only know from books ;)

17. When do you know its love? When it just feels right.

18. Do you speak any other languages? I speak Greek. I used to speak French and Spanish fairly well.

19. Have you ever been to a tanning salon? I used to… I’d pretend I was in the Bahamas, on a nude beach or something.

20. What magazines do you read? Elle, Canadian Living, Homemakers, InStyle

21. Have you ever ridden in a limo? They are overrated but yes.

22. Has anyone you were really close to passed away? Sadly my grandparents have all passed, a few of my dear uncles and an amazing cousing.

23. Do you watch MTV? GAC – Guilty As Charged.

24. What’s something that really annoys you? People who gossip maliciously.

25. What’s something you really like? The amazing smell of coffee, first thing in the morning.

26. Do you like Michael Jackson? How else would I have learned to do the moonwalk?

27. Can you dance? I love to dance, I think I can bust a few cool moves. Give me the chance and I can shake this Greek ass!

28. What’s the latest you have ever stayed up? In my younger days, I could stay up all night. Now I’m lucky if I can stay up past 1am.

29. Have you ever been rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room? No, bite your tongue! Ftou ftou don’t give me the evil eye.

30. Do you actually read these when other people fill them out? I sure do!

31. Tag 5 people!
@graceannounce
@SharonDV
@MOMMagRocks
@CocktailDeeva
@ImFreckles

(FYI: In case you’ve never done a MEME, just remember to link the person that tagged you, answer the same questions, and then tag five people to do the same. Have fun!)

Stoopid MEME quiz.

I blame Maria aka @amotherworld for making me do this. But WTF, enjoy. You might learn something.

1. Name someone with the same birthday as you. Mackenzie Phillips. Fuck. Really??

2. Where was your first kiss? In front of my house. Eddie Gallagher, we were both 6 yo and he ran away after.

3. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else’s property? No, there are enough criminals in my family, thank you very much.

4. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex? Big Daddy has been known to take a few but that's called foreplay in our house.

5. Have you ever sung in front of a large number of people? Yes, I cleared out a karaoke bar in the Domincan Republic singing Hound Dog to Big Daddy on our honeymoon. True story.

6. What’s the first thing you notice about your preferred sex? Eyes.


7. What really turns you off? Not having any wine.Or coffee. And pretentious people.

8. What do you order at Starbucks? Cinnamon Dolce Latte.

9. What is your biggest mistake? There are no mistakes, only lessons and experiences.

10. Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose? Yes, every night when I drink wine, my liver dies just a little bit more.

11. Say something totally random about yourself. I don't trust many people and therefore my "friends" are far and few between.

12. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? Angelina Jolie. If she were blonde. And chunky. And had blue eyes.

13. Do you still watch kiddie movies or TV shows? Fuck no. Unless Family Guy counts because that's a cartoon, so...

14. Did you have braces? Funny you should as because YES, just had them removed a year ago. And not because my teeth were crooked either, I had 2 baby teeth that had to be removed. I think that's when my drinking problem started because I was teething at the same time as my daughter and it hurt like a motherfucker.

15. Are you comfortable with your height? Sure! Mentally, I'm 6'6 so it matches my larger-than-life personality.

16. What is the most romantic thing someone of the preferred sex has done for you? Romance is for girls. I am not a girl. In that way.

17. When do you know its love? When he buys you dinner first.

18. Do you speak any other languages? I speak Jackass, simply because most everyone I meet speaks that language so it's important for me to be able to understand them.

19. Have you ever been to a tanning salon? All. The. Time.

20. What magazines do you read? MOM Magazine.

21. Have you ever ridden in a limo? Yup.

22. Has anyone you were really close to passed away? Someone I was in love with died suddenly when I was 21. My grandma died almost 15 years ago.

23. Do you watch MTV? No.

24. What’s something that really annoys you? People who claim to be all spiritual but are really full of shit.

25. What’s something you really like? Work. Really. I love what I do.

26. Do you like Michael Jackson? Learned all my best moves from him!

27. Can you dance? Uhm yah. Better than you, probably.

28. What’s the latest you have ever stayed up? Prior to kids, all night. Now, 10 pm.

29. Have you ever been rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room? No, I drag my sorry ass in there.

30. Do you actually read these when other people fill them out? Depends on whether or not I like the person.

31. Tag 5 people!
@Karissa_Nicole
@RockOnMommies
@Optimom
@jtdachtler
@kellidaisy

(FYI: In case you’ve never done a MEME, just remember to link the person that tagged you, answer the same questions, and then tag five people to do the same. Have fun!)

Edmonton's Notorious Cromdale slated for demolition

That was the Edmonton Journal headline I read as I was trying to fall asleep tonight. Yes, I keep my BB with me at all times, even in bed, and I find that reading the news is a great way to fall asleep.

I can't even begin to tell you how many conflicted emotions I have about the Cromdale Hotel.

Most of my childhood memories involve that rat trap in one way or another.

We lived in a house directly behind the Cromdale when I was about four years old. My mom worked there as a waitress and it was at the Cromdale where she met the man who would be instrumental in making the rest of my childhood something I'd rather forget and have had to bury in order to survive. He is the reason my adult life has been filled with nightmares, anger and hate.

Good ol' Cromdale.

I remember sleeping in the car outside the Cromdale, waiting for him & my mom to finish drinking.

When we were old enough to be left at home, 7-8 years old, I remember phoning the Cromdale and paging my mom only to be told by the person on the other end that they didn't page anyone. Even at that age, I remember being cocky and pulling attitude with whoever answered the phone, saying, "Listen, let me talk to Mike or Stan (the owners at the time) because he knows my mom!"

Sometimes, she would call me back. Most times, she didn't.

There is not one year of the 15 years I lived at home that didn't involve that place in one way or another.

Walking to Klondike Days, we would have to walk right by the Cromdale to get to the grounds. I remember thinking that if we could just get past that block, we'd be OK. Even taking the bus to school was frustrating because anytime the bus stopped in front of the Cromdale, I always wondered which scumbag would get on.

The number of times my mom came home from that bar, bruised, bloody and battered are too many to count.

My mom left her soul in that place, I'm sure of it.

The Cromdale was always there, attracting the lowest of the low: hookers, strippers, drug dealers, low life criminals. If you wanted to get into that life, the Cromdale was the place to network.

I've been in the lobby, I actually had a drink for my 18th birthday with my mom, sort of a "bonding moment" for us. When I came home from college on the weekends, if I ever wanted to find my mom, I would stop in at the Cromdale to look for her.

I always felt like I was better than every single person in that place. Like I couldn't be bothered to make eye contact with them or associate with them because I was never going to be like them.

It was a filthy place. I hated it. And yet I have mixed emotions about it being demolished. I mean, it needs to go, that community will never achieve the goals they have if that building stays, even if it has been condemned since 2004.

But for me, the Cromdale makes the demons of my past real. It is a landmark that will always be in my memories. It is something tangible to associate all of the bad stuff with.

Maybe demolishing it will help me release those demons, I don't know. But I can still see the inside of that bar. I can still see my mom sitting in a booth, not much older than I am now. She was 36 when I turned 18, so, yah.

Wow.

The mere mention of that place has dredged up all of these feelings.

I couldn't even relax enough to sleep, I needed to get this off my chest... release it to the universe.

I hate what the Cromdale stood for and now, it will stand no more.

But the demons that place have created for me, will live on forever. Or until I can afford a damn good therapist!

C.R.U.D

The community remember and the community that is now, 2009, are completely different.

Since I couldn't sleep, I did a little bit of research about the Cromdale and found this organization, CRUD (Community Response to Urban Disorder).

They are a group of people who are making changes and taking back the community from the drug dealers and prostitutes. I can only hope that they continue to be the voice of the people who live in that community because, for the most part, they are good people.

Check them out at www.crudedmonton.org

As for me, I feel like this could very well be a huge step in my healing process. Because as deep as I bury those demons, they're still there. They need to be demolished, too.

t.

It's over...

Ok, so I've officially entered my mid-30s.

Huh.

Weird.

I don't feel any different or look any different.

I've never panicked EVER about my birthday so yesterday was truly unusual for me. When I turned 30, I embraced it knowing that I was confident in myself and knew myself better than I did when I was 20.

I didn't phase me. Not. One. Bit.

But 35... wow. If it weren't for my Twitter friends I may have literally crawled under the covers and stayed there for the entire day.

But they were encouraging and positive, so that helped me see the light!

35 isn't old. What the hell was I thinking?? I can look at this as a fresh start for myself! A time to renew my mind, body and spirit! Turning 35 can be my very own "New Year," my BEST year!

So thank you to all of my Twitter friends, you know who you are!

Cheers! To another year!!

t.

Good by early 30s...

Today is officially my last day as a 34-year-old.

I don't even know why it matters to me, I've never looked at my birthday that way before but for some reason turning 35 seems to bring with it a whole new mentality. Maybe it's time for me to be mature, settle down and focus on what is important in life.

By "settle down" I mean put aside my childish mentality, my selfish "Me, ME, ME!!!" way of thinking and start thinking about how my actions affect those around me.



35 sounds old. It sounds like an age where you should be secure in your life and have a wonderful daily routine. It sounds like an age where my house should look a certain way and have a certain feel. Our house feels cluttered and blah. We've never had an interior designer help us and it certainly isn't "mature" the way it feels when I visit my friend's homes.

If I'm lucky enough to live to be 70 this means I'm HALFWAY THROUGH MY LIFE!

Fuck.

That's a lot of living to pack into another 35 years. And yet this first 35 have gone by so quickly.

Is this my midlife crisis?? Is there a hot young gardener in my future? BAH! I have a hard enough time with Big Daddy I couldn't imagine having to worry about keeping a hot young stud on the side.

But seriously, I feel like I have ONE LAST DAY to get my shit together and grow up.

I just looked around the dungeon and realized it's gonna take a whole lot more than one day to clean this place up. Or change my life.

I guess it starts with this one day.

My final day in my early 30s. From here on in, I'll be in my mid-30s. If I died tomorrow, Lynda Steele would be reading from her anchor desk at Global TV saying, "A woman in her mid-thirties was killed today after falling into a wood chipper. Her husband claims to have found her that way."

Fuck. Me.

Mid-thirties sounds like I should be much more polished and mature than I am.

I don't know, people... Maybe I should just embrace the A5-35 rub and roll with it.

I'll let you know how it goes.

t.